Category: Advancement-oriented

By Larrell L. Wilkinson | PHAME-US Campaign

It has been said, “birds of a feather flock together.” I heard the wise saying growing up, especially in my teen years. I would see the saying on inspirational posters or hear it from family members and/or church leaders…particularly when being encouraged to stay away from individuals that may have been troublemakers. As the admonishment would go, “avoid hanging out with (insert first name) person, else you may end up in trouble like them. Remember, “birds of a feather flock together.” I know it seems so cliché, but coming back around to this quote many years later, I will acknowledge that the friends we have around us, particularly our closest friends, will more than likely influence the direction of our life. Our closest friends are likely a significant ingredient in our life’s recipe for successfully accomplishing our goals. So then questions arise like, “what goals do I have for my life” and “how should I determine who I let into my closest friend circle?

I recently had the opportunity to reflect on the process of choosing people in support of living out purpose while listening to the Bible. In Acts of the Apostles 1:12-21 (NLT), the apostles are meeting to chose another person to become a witness with them to the resurrection of Jesus. The apostles were looking for a person who would be trusted with leading in the Gospel and joining them in the innermost circle of the work to be done. Much like friends with different life experiences, the apostle’s relationships were lets say,…very human. And when it came to choosing from among people in their network, Acts of the Apostles 1:24 suggests that the men “prayed” about the hearts of the men to join them in the inner workings of the ministry. Hmmm, praying about who I should let into my closest network of people to join me in my most important works of life. Outside of my wife, I hadn’t much thought of that.

When it comes to making friends, we are told to associate higher (associating with people in a higher social status than your current position), choose friends with similar values and/or goals to your own, or choose friends that balance your strengths/weaknesses. All of this is good advice. Additionally, let’s acknowledge that in order for us and our flock to soar towards our purpose in life, it doesn’t hurt to pray about and for the people coming into or already in our lives. Perhaps we should consider talking through (vetting) and praying with trusted people already in our lives about individuals who may join our circle? Sound too intrusive? Sound too clique’ish? What if being intentional about the type of individuals joining us on our life’s journey and mission was a key ingredient to our success? I get it. Honestly, it feels a little uncomfortable to type. However, as I travel along the lifecourse, I’ve had many good and not so good experiences.

The best contributors to my continued evolution in life have been the ones that I know God has blessed me with encountering. God has placed a great variety of people from many different backgrounds and experiences in my life to help me along the way. Sometimes I prayed and the person came, other times I met the person through a program, in school, through work, etc. and later recognized that God sent them. Overall, we seldom go wrong when we have around us, people who are positive individuals, supportive of overall health, seeking to live out a positive purpose, and willing to work as a support with you and others toward common positive goals. We’ll show love to many people and will likely have a network of people around us. There are a lot of people out there from which to choose our closest friends, so in deciding, let’s choose to be intentional and consider the power of prayer as well. It doesn’t hurt and furthermore, the intentionality and prayer may be the difference in making decisions that have lasting benefit to our lives.