Category: Wholeness

Encouragement Positive Wholeness

What is Shame and How Does It Affect Us?

By LaTangellia Walker on

By LaTangellia Walker | Community Health and Human Services Intern

Photo by Liza Summer on Pexels.com

Shame is a painful, self-critical emotion; A feeling of humiliation or distress caused by the consciousness of wrong or foolish behavior. When we feel shame, it is common to think of ourselves in a negative light. We begin to think that we are ugly, incompetent, or stupid (The psychology of shame, 2023). The moment we begin having these thoughts, we separate our true selves with an ideal image of who we aspire to be. Our ideal image is usually represented by a strong figure, not someone who drowns themselves in self-pity.

Shame is associated with many mental health disorders. The most common mental health disorder that shame is correlated with is suicide, which is often seen as a motive for suicidal behavior. In 2021, 47,646 people died by suicide (CDC, 2022). Suicide rates have been skyrocketing for years and there is evidence that social factors such as loniless, financial ruin and shame are more direct causes of this dramatic increase.

The most common questions we are asked in the United States are “What do you do?” or “Are you seeing anyone?” or “When are you going to have kids?” Oftentimes, when we are being asked these questions, we judge ourselves before anyone else gets a chance to. But what would happen if we let others judge us without judging ourselves? When we leave this world, we aren’t going to care what people say about us. 

So how can we learn let go of our shamefulness?

  • Admit when you feel shame and explore why.
  • Talk to someone you trust about what you are feeling.
  • Find compassion for yourself.
  • Remember that your opinion of yourself matters the most!

 We do not feel ashamed because of our actions, but because of who we are (The psychology of shame, 2023).

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. (2022, September 30). Suicide increases in 2021 after two years of decline. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Retrieved March 9, 2023, from https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/pressroom/nchs_press_releases/2022/20220930.htm 

Sussex Publishers. (n.d.). The psychology of shame. Psychology Today. Retrieved March 9, 2023, from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/sonnet-freud/202009/the-psychology-shame 

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Advancement-oriented Advocacy Encouragement Family (PHAMILY) Hopeful Positive Solidarity (Commonality, Humanity) Understanding (Insight & Wisdom) Wholeness

City of Birmingham and Birmingham City Schools working to improve child reading ability

By phameuscampaign

By Angela Wilson | UAB Community Health & Human Services Intern

Photo by RODNAE Productions on Pexels.com

Page pals is a reading initiative created in a partnership between the City of Birmingham and Birmingham City Schools (BCS) with the purpose of improving student’s reading ability, specifically third graders. This initiative is in response to the Alabama Literacy Act, a law that when fully implemented, will prevent a third grade student who is not reading on grade level from moving up to the fourth grade, essentially being “held back” in third grade. Although parents and students will have the ability to go through a remediation process to improve student reading ability, the law is of great concern as only 56% of 3rd grade students in Birmingham City Schools are effectively achieving grade level reading as measured by the 2021 State of Alabama Comprehensive Assessment Program (ACAP).

The City of Birmingham is supporting BCS on-going efforts to improve student reading ability by asking members from the local community, non-profit groups, and corporations to volunteer some of their time to read with the BCS students. Reading to children improves their opportunity to hear others read outside of their normal classroom setting. These efforts have proven to be very beneficial to the students and may boost their interest and proficiency in reading.

Are you interested in volunteering? Page Pals volunteers go into one of the BCS elementary schools during the students’ library times, spending about thirty minutes of reading time with the students. Volunteers may choose from a list of schools, dates, and times that work best with their schedule. During their selected time, volunteers will read a book to the students that follows a curriculum created by BCS to help them build the background knowledge in science and social studies and to better prepare them for their standardized testing that occurs in April. Volunteers are encouraged to engage with the students by asking them questions periodically, reiterating comprehension and understanding about the book being read, and help grow their love for reading; thereby making a strong connection impact so that they perform better on their Alabama Comprehensive Assessment.

Our local children need our help to ensure their future remains bright, so let’s help to light their path to a brighter future. Sign up to become a Page Pal volunteer. It is easy and free! Simply visit https://www.signupgenius.com/go/springpagepals#/ and select your school choice, date and time. Now you’re all set!  If you ‘d like more information about the Page Pals program, you can follow this link at https://www.bhamyouthfirst.org/page-pals/.

Acknowledgement: PHAME-US.com would like to thank you to Mr. Marquise Hollingsworth for your time in support of this blogpost.

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Encouragement Family (PHAMILY) Hopeful Solidarity (Commonality, Humanity) Wholeness

Brittney Griner and Russian Prison Release

By trjohns3 on

By Terrie Johnson | UAB Community Health & Human Services Intern

Credit: Britney Griner Instagram

The release of Brittney Griner from Russian imprisonment garnered a great deal of attention from around the nation. Brittney Griner is a two-time Olympic gold medalist and WNBA athlete that was detained at a Russian airport in 2022. Russian officials accused Griner of being in possession of CBD cartridges which is illegal in the country. However, 10 months after being sentenced to nine years in prison, she is back on America soil thanks to a highly controversial prison swap. As such, her homecoming is both joy-filled and packed with the reality of possible lifelong mental health implications.   

CNN Reporters Salahieh and Yan shared Griner was held in an imprisonment camp for women that provided beds insufficient for a small child. Standing six feet nine inches tall, this was one component of her captivity that prevented her from getting sleep. Additionally, the camp forced women to sew as a form of intensive labor. However, Griner was too tall to sit at the tables and her hands were too large for the sewing machines. As a last resort, she was assigned to carrying the fabric used to create various garments. Most notably, Griner was forced to cut her signature locs which nearly reached her waistline. This was considered necessary since Griner could not dry her hair in the frigid temperatures of Russia and constantly battled the flu and pneumonia from exposed, wet hair. Along with these inconveniences, there were numerous aspects of the experience that would cause Griner to need the professional help of a therapist to strengthen her mental state.

As such, it is highly recommended that Griner and her loved ones that have been a part of the journey receive psychological counseling to address any emergent issues. Acknowledging being imprisoned in another country, serving as a political pawn for world leaders, being deemed unworthy for a prisoner swap, and being separated from family; it is imperative that Griner gets the supports she may need. Griner and her family may need to unpack the difficulties of being detained in another country, serving in a penal colony, and dealing with the anxiety of release. This can be achieved in individual counseling, group counseling, and trauma therapy. All parties can also join online support groups, perform community service, and connect with or advocate for Americans still in captivity.

Have you been impacted by a traumatic event? Was your family also impacted? Be encouraged and seek support for yourself and your family. For resources in your community, use the FindTreatment.gov to find the closest treatment location.

References

Kudryavtsev, Kirill. (2022). How the WNBA could have saved Brittney Griner. BAZAAR. https://www.harpersbazaar.com/culture/politics/a40837022/wnba-could-have-saved-brittney-griner-pay-discrepancy-russia/

Salahieh, N. & Yan, H. (2022). Brittney Griner is back in the US and dunking again after almost 10 months detained in Russia. CNN. https://www.cnn.com/2022/12/12/us/brittney-griner-us-arrival-monday/index.html

Centers for Disease Control & Prevention (CDC). (2023). Helping Patients Cope with a Traumatic Event. https://www.cdc.gov/masstrauma/factsheets/professionals/coping_professional.pdf

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Positive Promotion Wholeness

Have You Done Your Yoga Today?

By LaTangellia Walker on

By Jaelyn Copeland| UAB Community Health and Human Services Intern

In today’s hectic environment, yoga, an age-old practice of meditation, has grown in popularity. Yoga began as a spiritual practice but has become popular as a way of promoting physical and mental well-being (Yoga: What you need to know, 2023). It also offers many people a respite from their hectic and stressful life. This holds true whether you’re doing downward dog on a mat in your bedroom, an ashram in India, or even Times Square in New York City. Numerous other psychological and physical advantages of yoga exist. Some of these reach the dining room table.

Inner awareness is developed through yoga. It directs your attention to the capabilities of your body right now. It enhances physical and mental stamina and breath. It has nothing to do with appearance.

Mirrors are often absent from yoga studios. This allows people to concentrate on themselves instead of how they seem in a stance or in relation to others. According to surveys, persons who practiced yoga were more conscious of their bodies than those who didn’t. Additionally, they felt better about and were less critical of their bodies. Due to these factors, yoga is now a crucial component of programs that support a good body image and sense of self-worth as well as the treatment of eating disorders.

According to their results, the researchers discovered that those who practiced yoga were more conscious eaters. Better mindful eating scores were correlated with years of yoga practice as well as weekly minutes of practice. You become more conscious of how your body feels as you practice yoga. When eating, you can use this increased awareness to savor each bite or drink and pay attention to how the food feels, tastes, and smells in your mouth.

Yoga is more complex than it looks, however, you are guaranteed to feel rejuvenated after one session. This type of movement stretches your muscles and aids in increasing blood flow going needed when performing physical activity.

Yoga – benefits beyond the mat. Harvard Health. (2021, September 8). Retrieved December 6, 2022, from https://www.health.harvard.edu/staying-healthy/yoga-benefits-beyond-the-mat

Yoga: What you need to know. (n.d.). Retrieved March 27, 2023, from https://www.nccih.nih.gov/health/yoga-what-you-need-to-know

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Encouragement Prevention Protection Understanding (Insight & Wisdom) Wholeness

You Better Believe Them

By reginiad on

By Reginia Dodson | UAB Community Health and Human Services Intern

In the famous words of Maya Angelou, “When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time” (Maya Angelou, 2023). Often, we as women, and most importantly black women tend to overlook all of the warning signs of a toxic relationship. This may include a romantic, friendship, or even a professional relationship.

Abuse is a pattern of behavior used by one person to gain and maintain power and control over another (Team, 2021). DMost women often ignore the tell-tale signs of an abuser, Abuse comes in all forms such as verbal, physical, and financial. It can come in form of your good friend that always needs to borrow that little $40 she can never seem to pay back. It is amazing how little your $40 becomes when you dare to ask for them back. The excuses you hear when you ask to become a barrage of putdowns and make the situation even worse. Nevertheless, this is an example of financial abuse.

Next, we have the person that always has something negative to say, or makes a harsh comment that may offend us in some way. This is sign of verbal abuse. Sometimes it is easy for us to ignore these statements and signs, or to justify their reasoning behind their actions, but this behavior should not be tolerated.

Lastly, we have the outright physical abuser. This particular person wants to physically harm you. “But it was only one time, they promised me it wouldn’t happen again “, a common yet horrific statement of those suffering from physical abuse. If someone causes us harm, we should run and never look back. Physical abuse can ultimately lead to permanent injury or even death.

You better believe them all. We should be able to identify our limitations and boundaries; and consider them often when experiencing abuse. No relationship is worth a hit to your mental, financial, or physical health so protect it at all costs.

References

Maya Angelou quotes. (n.d.). Retrieved March 28, 2023, from https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/maya_angelou_383371

Team, R. (2021, August 24). 6 different types of abuse. Retrieved March 28, 2023, from https://reachma.org/blog/6-different-types-of-abuse/

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Encouragement Positive Wholeness

The Art of Being Care-Free

By LaTangellia Walker on

By Tan Walker | UAB Community Health & Human Services Intern

Photo by KoolShooters on Pexels.com

Wherever you invest your time, there lies your heart (The art of not caring, 2017). In other words, the things that matter the most to you are the things you are most present for. Everyone is entitled to have their own agendas but establishing what is most important in our lives should be a priority. The things in our lives that don’t matter as much, we can just go with the flow to see what happens.

Unfortunately, I’ve realized that I am the complete opposite of the term “care-free”. I’m easily agitated and frustrated, and I have a tendency to stress over things that are completely out of my control. Now that I have recognized this flaw of mind, I am able to handle myself a little better whenever I face things that challenge me. The ultimate solution to handling situations like this is mastering “the art of being care-free”.

Being care-free is learning how to pick and choose your battles. At some point in life, we will all have things that challenge us, irritate us, or get us worked up. However, we are entirely responsible for our own emotions and actions. Failure happens. Heartbreak happens. Life happens. We get to decide whether we want to let one situation ruin our entire day, or if we want to learn from it and move on.

Learning to stay focused on things that really matter, and spend less time on things that don’t is a valuable lesson we all should learn from. From the time we wake up in the morning, to the time we go to sleep at night, we will always be faced with making decisions that could affect our lives. It is up to us to decide whether those things will affect us in a positive or negative way. The next time you become flustered and agitated with something, remember “the art of being care-free”.

The art of not caring. (2017, December 31). Retrieved December 1, 2022, from https://thoughtcatalog.com/lindsey-lazarte/2017/12/the-art-of-not-caring/#:~:text=What%20I%20mean%20when%20I%20say%20%E2%80%9Cthe%20art,in%20control%20of%20your%20own%20actions%20and%20emotions.

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Beauty Family (PHAMILY) For My Daughter For My Son Profiles Wholeness Woman31

A Note of Love to My Wife Khalia: Thank You Sweetheart

By Larrell Wilkinson on

My dearest Khalia,

Thank you for your love.

Thank you for being patient with me. Sometimes my ways are not your ways and your ways are not mine, but you choose to love me through the tension.

Thank you for being kind to me. I realize there are times I am unpleasant to be around, but you choose to love me with your gentleness.

Thank you for being generous with me. I realize there are times between us that inspire resentment, but you choose to pursue goodwill in our relationship.

Thank you for diminishing my faults, remaining down-to-earth, and being civil and polite. I realize there are times I come off rude or high-and-mighty, but you choose to not be irritable with me and forgive my wrongs.

Thank you for being fair with me. I realize there are times where your sacrifice or compromise is not celebrated, but you choose to exercise truth in a respectful manner.

Thank you for not giving up on me, not losing faith in me, remaining hopeful with me, and enduring life’s circumstances with me! Thank you for being a loving wife to me!

Your Husband,

Larrell L. Wilkinson

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Hopeful Wholeness

A Prayer for Our Country on January 6, 2021

By Larrell Wilkinson on
  • Capitol Building in Washington, D.C.

Father God,

As we watch the turmoil in Washington, D.C. right now, we turn to you and pray for our nation. We pray for peace, calm, & demonstrate the love of Jesus Christ. We pray for the safety of the Capitol Police protecting Congress; the safety of Senators and Representatives; and the safety of peaceful protestors. We pray protection from those who divide, sow discord, & perform acts of violence. We pray the leaders of our government, leaders of the United States of America do the serious work to form a more perfect Union…working toward Justice, Tranquility, the Common Defense, promoting the general Welfare, and continuing to secure the Blessings of Liberty for ourselves and Posterity. Amen. #capitolhill#democracy#StrongerTogether

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Hopeful Wholeness

Reflection on the Killing of Mr. Ahmaud Arbery

By Larrell Wilkinson on

I walk/jog/run most days of the week. I walk/jog/run for my health & well-being. I encourage other men who look like me to walk/jog/run for their health & well-being. I encourage ALL people to “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength” & “Love your neighbor as yourself” (Mark 12:30-31, NIV).

I cannot explain the tragic circumstances of #AhmaudArbery. My hope is WE can ALL work towards LOVING our God and LOVING our fellow MAN. Perhaps when we treat each other the way we would want to be treated, then these tragic events will decrease and end. Heavenly Father, I pray for peace, love, strength, encouragement and comfort for the family of Ahmaud Arbery. I pray the same for all the many families who have lost loved ones due to violence. God, grant us the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Lord, please embolden men and women in solidarity with each other, in You, to champion the causes of the just, the good, the defenseless, and those experiencing unfortunate circumstances. May we speak up and judge righteously. Amen.

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Hopeful Wholeness

Reflection on the Killing of Mr. George Floyd

By Larrell Wilkinson on

To all my Brothers | Sisters | Those I Have Yet to Meet: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your passion and prayer and intelligence.’…’Love others as WELL as you love yourself.’ These two commands are pegs; everything in God’s Law and the Prophets hangs from them” [Matthew 22: 37-40, MSG].

No matter one’s skin color or social standing, I encourage ALL to at least value the lives of others while working toward loving others. If you find it challenging to value the life of another and/or LOVE others, then my prayer is that you will open your heart to God and allow Him to “transform your heart & mind.” Let us work to not believe all the negative stereotypes about people we don’t know. Instead let us challenge our thinking, be intentional about overcoming biases, and work to do “life” with one another. In the process, we will learn to love one another. Strength, Encouragement, & Comfort to the family of Mr. George Floyd. #georgefloyd #racisimisasin

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